Author, Abigail L. Johnson lives and works in Sheridan, Wyoming USA. For paid employment, she presently works as an activities assistant in a nursing home. On a volunteer basis, she is involved at other facilities in the community that serve senior citizens. She has also facilitated a support group for the visually impaired and has served on the advisory board to a state trust fund which allows visually impaired people in Wyoming to purchase adaptive equipment and services.
"I'm sorry," said the doctor as he turned on his heel and strolled out of the room.
I looked at my wife Betty who lay in her hospital bed, her sightless eyes filling with tears. "Warren," she said, extending her hand in search of
mine.
"I'm right here honey," I said, taking her hand.
Bursting into tears, she then sat up in bed, threw her arms around me, and buried her face in my neck. "Oh Warren," she sobbed. "I really wanted
us to have children. How could this happen to me, to us?"
I gently pushed her back down on the bed and continued to hold her. "I don't know," I said sadly. "But I don't see any reason why we can't adopt."
I then stood up and handed her a Kleenex from the box on the night stand. I then brushed back the hair from her eyes as she continued to sob for a few
more minutes.
Finally, she blew her nose and said disdainfully, "They wouldn't let a blind woman adopt a baby."
"I don't see why not," I said. "Isn't this Americans with Disabilities Act supposed to protect people like you in situations like this? It helped
you a couple of years ago when your boss said she couldn't work with your blindness and reduced your hours."
"I don't know," said Betty with a sigh.
"Look," I said. "Your lawyer uncle helped you with that battle with your employer a couple of years ago. I'll bet he could help us now, if we
need him."
"I suppose," said Betty with a yawn.
"Why don't you get some rest," I said. "I'll go get a cup of coffee and I'll be back soon."
"You sound like you could use some rest yourself," said Betty with a weak smile. "Why don't you go home for a while? I'll be ok."
"I'm all right," I said, smiling in spite of myself. "There's a nice recliner in the corner by the window. I can stretch out there later if I feel
like it." I then kissed her tenderly on her forehead and left the room.
As I walked down the hall, I thought about the events of the past few months. Betty and I had been so excited when we discovered that she was pregnant.
I had taken out a home equity loan and was working with a contractor to build an extra room onto the house for the baby. Some friends of ours had even
offered to let us have a crib and other baby items they no longer needed.
Then last night, Betty started bleeding profusely. I called 911 and she was rushed to the hospital where she soon miscarried. This morning, they
ran some tests to determine the cause of the miscarriage and we soon learned the sad news. Betty had a rare genetic disorder that would never allow her
to carry a baby to term. The doctor predicted that she would always miscarry during the third month and suggested that we try adoption or some other means
of having children. Then after saying there was nothing more he could do, he swiftly turned and left Betty's hospital room.
Now, I stopped in front of the nursery and looked in the window. The baby in the crib nearest the window got my attention. Her eyes were bright blue,
the same shade of blue as Betty's eyes and she had a head of blonde curls. I couldn't help feeling a twinge of sadness. Would our baby have looked like
that, I wondered. As I watched, the baby began to cry as did other babies in the room. A nurse hurried over to the crib and picked up the baby. She
then looked towards me, standing on the other side of the glass. A few minutes later, the nursery door opened and the nurse stood there, holding the baby,
who was still whimpering. In bewilderment, I turned towards her.
"Excuse me," she said with an apologetic smile. "I couldn't help but notice you watching this baby."
"Oh, she's not mine," I said quickly. "You see, my wife had a miscarriage last night and I couldn't help looking at that baby and thinking ours would
have probably looked like that."
"I'm sorry," said the nurse, her face softening with compassion. "But listen, I know this isn't your baby but I'm the only one back here and there
are four other babies who also need attention and this baby's mother isn't here. Would you mind giving this baby a bottle?"
I didn't hesitate. "Sure," I said. As I took the baby from the nurse and followed her into the nursery, I couldn't help wishing that it was our
baby I was carrying. I settled myself and the baby in a rocking chair in the corner of the room and the nurse handed me a bottle and showed me how to
hold the baby and position the nipple of the bottle between the baby's lips so she could suck. The nurse then hurried off to tend to the other crying
babies and the baby in my lap was soon sucking contentedly on her bottle. I noticed that this baby's eyes seemed to stare blankly into space the way Betty's
eyes did. Could this baby be blind too, I wondered.
When the room was once again quiet, the nurse returned and stood watching me. "You do that very well," she said. "I'm so sorry you lost your own
baby. You would have been a good father."
"Thanks," I said. "By the way, where is this baby's mother?"
With a sigh, the nurse replied, "She and her husband just left the hospital this morning without the baby."
"You mean they abandoned her," I asked in astonishment.
"I'm afraid so," said the nurse.
"Why," I asked in disbelief.
"The baby was born blind," answered the nurse.
"I knew it. My wife's blind too. You mean this baby's parents just left her just because she's blind," I said incredulously.
"That's what it looks like," said the nurse.
As if she had overheard our conversation, the baby in my lap stirred and began whimpering. "She's probably had enough," said the nurse. "Now, you
need to burp her. Just put her over your shoulder and tap her lightly on her shoulder."
As I did what she instructed, the baby stopped whimpering and the nurse smiled broadly. "Don't worry sweetheart," I said to the baby. "Daddy's here
now."
At this, the nurse raised her eyebrows. I was also taken aback by what I had just said. The words had seemed to come out of my mouth unbidden. But
then, I realized that fate had placed this child, who had been abandoned by her parents into the arms of a father who had just lost a child. So, mustering
all my courage, I said, "I know this sounds awfully sudden but how would my wife and I go about adopting this child?"
At this, the nurse's mouth gaped open in astonishment. She then quickly closed it and said briskly, "Let me make a call." As she hurried from the room,
I could detect just a hint of a smile of approval around the corners of her mouth.
As if satisfied with the direction things were taking, the baby emitted an extremely loud belch. I almost laughed when I thought of how Betty disapproved
when I inadvertently did that. As I looked down into the baby's smiling face, I said, "If you're going to live with me and Mommy, you're going to have
to learn not to do that."
A few minutes later, a dark-haired woman, looking very efficient in a business suit, came into the room. When she saw me with the baby, her serious face broke into a broad grin. She approached me . "Hi, my name is IlSinnessa Cain and I'm a social worker here," she said cheerfully.
I rose awkwardly, still holding the baby, who had fallen asleep. Gently cradling her in the crook of my left arm, I extended my right hand. "I'm Warren Foster."
"It's nice to meet you," said the social worker. "I understand you're interested in adopting this baby."
"Yes," I answered and not knowing how much the nurse had told her, I continued, "My wife and I just lost a baby due to a miscarriage and we just
found out that my wife can no longer have any children."
"I'm so sorry," said the social worker. "But you're in luck today. It just so happens that there's a case worker from the Department of Family
Services in my office and we were discussing this particular baby when the nurse up here called me. Why don't you come with me down to my office and talk
to her and she can give you some idea of what would be involved."
I looked down at the sleeping bundle in my arms, hesitant to part company with this baby so soon. "Should I leave her here?" I asked uncertainly,
hoping I would not be forced to abandon this child as she had once before been abandoned.
"Let's take her along," answered the social worker. "It's important that DFS workers see how you interact with the child." Then to reassure me, she
said, "I think you're going to make a wonderful father."
I followed the social worker down the hall to the elevator, which took us to the ground floor of the hospital. We then proceeded through a maze of corridors
until we reached an office. All the while, the social worker made pleasant small talk and I tried to answer as cheerfully as I could, despite the fact
that there was a knot of anxiety developing in my stomach. I knew that first impressions were important and right now, I didn't look very impressionable.
Since I had spent the night in a recliner in Betty's room, my clothes and hair were rumpled and I was badly in need of a shave. But the social worker's
last words rang in my ear. "You're going to make a great father," she had said. Maybe at this point, the social worker had more confidence in me than
I had in myself.
As we walked into the office, a blonde woman in yet another business suit rose and smiled when she saw me and the baby. "Hi, I'm Annette Barkley with
the Department of Family Services." she said.
I once again cradled the baby and extended my hand and introduced myself. Once we had settled ourselves, she asked, "How did you find out about this
baby?"
I once again explained my wife's blindness and told the story of how Betty and I had lost our baby and how we had been told that Betty could have no
more children. I then explained how I had inadvertently walked by the nursery window and noticed the baby, whose eyes looked just like Betty's. I then
told how the nurse, flustered because she was the only one on duty and there were several babies needing her attention, had asked me to give this baby
a bottle. I then told the DFS worker how I had immediately fallen in love with this baby and how I had been moved by this baby's plight, which had been
explained to me by the nurse. "I think fate somehow brought us together," I said.
"It certainly sounds like it," said the DFS worker thoughtfully. "But your wife hasn't yet seen this baby, has she?"
"No," I answered. "But I know she wants a baby just as much as I do. In fact, she's feeling pretty depressed right now and so I think this baby will
cheer her up."
"You're probably right," replied the DFS worker. "And I'm sure your wife could provide a lot of love and support to a child who is in the same boat
as she is. And I can already see that you're going to make a wonderful father. But let's go talk to your wife first, shall we?"
As we left the hospital social worker's office and walked down the hall, I felt as if a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders. In fact, I was
elated. As I glanced down at the baby in my arms, I noticed that she was awake and smiling, as if she could sense my joy and knew the reason for it.
We took the elevator back up to Betty's floor and walked into her room. Betty had been sleeping but sensing our presence, she woke up and her eyes turned
toward me. I approached the bed and said, "Honey, I have a surprise for you. Hold out your arms."
Looking bewildered, Betty extended her arms and as the two social workers looked on from the doorway, I placed what I hoped would soon be our daughter
into her arms. And as if the child were already her own, with a look of surprise on her face and tears of joy filling both our eyes, Betty's arms lovingly
encircled the tiny form.